Shifting from “Answer Haver” to “Question Asker”
As leaders, it’s easy to fall into the role of the problem solver—ready with the answers, solutions, and directions to keep things moving. It’s what many of us are used to and what our teams may have come to expect. But what if the most effective way to lead isn’t by having all the answers, but by asking the right questions?
When we shift from being the "expert" to becoming a facilitator of thinking, we invite more perspectives, empower our teams to take ownership, and often end up with more creative, sustainable solutions. But let’s be real—this shift isn’t always smooth or easy. In fact, at first, it might feel clunky and even a little awkward.
Why Shifting from Problem Solver to Question Asker Feels Hard (And Why It’s Worth It)
If you’ve been in the habit of offering solutions, your team may be used to looking to you for the “right” answer. When you suddenly start asking them to solve the problem or explore alternatives, it can catch them off guard. There may be moments where they seem uncertain, or the conversation stalls because they’re waiting for you to jump in.
But don’t expect immediate smooth sailing—and that’s okay. The discomfort means you’re doing the hard work of creating a new dynamic. Over time, this shift can lead to deeper collaboration, more thoughtful problem-solving, and a team that feels empowered to generate their own ideas.
The Two-Week Experiment: Becoming a Question Asker
For the next two weeks, pick a few meetings where you know you’re often in the role of "problem solver." Your goal is to lead with curiosity by asking questions and allowing your team to work through challenges.
Step 1: Prepare for Clunky Moments (And Embrace Them)
Before the meeting, take 10 minutes to get into a curiosity mindset:
Anticipate the problems or challenges that may come up in the meeting.
Create a cheat sheet of questions to help guide the conversation, like:
“What options have we not explored yet?”
“What’s the root cause of this challenge?”
“What resources or perspectives might help us look at this differently?”
“What might happen if we tried X?
Make them authentic to you and your style.
Acknowledge reality: This might feel awkward, and your team may hesitate or seem unsure when you shift from solving to asking. That’s okay—stick with it.
Step 2: During the Meeting – Stick with the Questions
When the meeting begins, you might instinctively want to provide answers, especially if the conversation feels slow or your team looks to you for direction. This is where the experiment really happens:
Use your cheat sheet to ask questions and encourage the team to think through the issue on their own.
Pay attention to how your questions shift the conversation. It may not feel like immediate smooth sailing, but the more you practice, the more natural it will become for you and your team.
Expect that there will be pauses or uncertainty—the team may need time to adjust to this new way of working. Stay patient and stay curious.
Step 3: Reflect After the Meeting
After the meeting, take another 10 minutes to reflect:
How did it feel to step back and ask questions instead of offering solutions?
Were there moments when you wanted to jump in and solve things yourself?
How did your team respond to the shift? Did they offer new ideas or need more time to adjust?
What could improve?
Were there questions that worked particularly well or moments where the conversation stalled?
What can you do next time to keep the process moving without falling back into problem-solving mode?
Expect Resistance (From Yourself and Others)
Let’s be honest: shifting from problem solver to question asker isn’t just hard for your team—it’s hard for you, too. As leaders, we’re often rewarded for quick solutions, and asking questions might feel like slowing things down. But remember, the goal isn’t efficiency—it’s developing a team that can think critically and creatively without needing to rely on you for every answer.
Your team might hesitate, especially if they’re used to you providing answers. There might be awkward silences, or they might look to you for confirmation. That’s normal. Stick with the questions, and over time, you’ll notice that your team begins to lean into their own problem-solving abilities. The awkwardness is a sign of growth—for both you and them.
The Reward: More Creative, Collaborative Teams
The shift from answer-haver to question asker may not be smooth at first, but it’s worth it. As you practice, you’ll notice your team growing more confident in their own problem-solving skills, and you’ll free yourself from the pressure of having all the answers.
Remember, leadership isn’t about always being the expert—it’s about guiding your team to find their own path forward. By leading with curiosity, you open the door to new ideas, more engaged teams, and better outcomes.
Ready to give it a try? Grab your cheat sheet, prepare your questions, and start your two-week experiment. It might feel a little clunky at first, but that’s where the magic happens.
